Bdsm discussion topics

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And, as someone who has never read or watched FSOG, I have no opinion whatsoever on their take on it. Reblogged from: BuzzFeed. Forget Fifty Shades of Grey. Casey Gueren. Most people think BDSM is always tied to sex, and while it can be for some people, others draw a hard line between the two.

The metaphor she uses for it: a massage. Sometimes a massage, however sensual it feels, is just a massage. For others, a rubdown pretty much always le to sex.

Bdsm discussion topics

The biggest myth is that you need this special set of circumstances. Bdsm discussion topics can — and should — pick and choose which BDSM activities you are and are not interested in, says Thorn. And that can vary depending on the situation, the partner, or even the day. And actually, men who engaged in BDSM had lower scores of psychological distress than other men. While some people appreciate that the books spurred more interest in kink and may have made it less stigmatized, others take issue with the abusive, unhealthy relationship it portrays and the seriously unrealistic scenes.

All in all, it is not an accurate representation of the BDSM community. Instead, these are called scenes like, you bdsm discussion topics with someone or you had a scene. A top could refer to a dominant or a sadist someone who enjoys inflicting painwhile a bottom could refer to a submissive or a masochist someone who enjoys receiving pain.

This allows you to have a blanket term for those who generally like being on either the giving or receiving end in a BDSM encounter. Maybe the thought of being tied up excites you, or you enjoy spanking or being spanked. All of that and obviously a lot more is within the realm of BDSM. Basically, you can still be into kink without actually ever going to a dungeon. But before you play around with some of the trickier tools, you need to learn how to do so safely.

Please add them in the comments! Classes, conferences, and meet-ups are also helpful for learning specific techniques, says Thorn. Another popular resource is FetLife. One mistake many people make when first experimenting with BDSM is relying on one person to show them the way. Even if they do have your best interest at heart and they might notit can be limiting to only have one perspective on something that is so multidimensional, says Thorn.

Instead, seek out books, workshops, meet-ups, mentors, friends, message boards, and more to find a safe place to explore your interests. You do you. You can find more info about safe words here. This can be anything from ignoring safe words to using a whip incorrectly. Seriously, did we mention that safety is paramount here? In fact, the acronym SSC safe, sane, consensual is one of the most common pillars of the practice. It has to be the right place and right time and right equipment. You have to feel you can trust the person. Whenever people question the role of consent in BDSM, they should consider the enormous amount of communication that occurs before, during, and after the scenes.

Think of this as the primer before the scene. Since BDSM can be an incredibly intense and emotional experience for some, most experts strongly suggest this wrap-up step, where the partners can discuss the scene and any reactions they had to it. A lot of people just want to do it with their partner or play with the big toys at clubs.

This is not a one-size-fits-all kink. There are light floggers, leather whips, whips with single tails, whips with multiple tails that are flat and wide, the list goes on, says Thorn. But because certain types can be harsher than others, you really need to learn how to use them properly again, workshops are crucial.

Like, um, the eyes, obviously. Or the kidney area.

Bdsm discussion topics

Short of attending a workshop or visiting a dominatrixthe best way to learn more about it is to do some research. You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Google. You are commenting using your Twitter. You are commenting using your Facebook. Notify me of new comments via. Notify me of new posts via. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Posted on February 12,at p.

Casey Gueren BuzzFeed Staff. Know that you can always say no. BDSMers are just as stable as people who prefer vanilla sex. There are dominants, submissives, tops, and bdsm discussion topics. It can be as simple or as technical as you want. Before you go past the VERY basics, do your research. Safe words are definitely a thing. And at some public events, there are even safety monitors on duty. And then comes aftercare, the debriefing period that happens once the scene ends. BDSMers can be monogamous, polyamorous, or whatever the hell they want.

There are so many different types of whips. If you want to bring it up in your current relationship, absolutely do it.

Bdsm discussion topics

There is an immensely helpful list of kink-aware professionals so you can find a doctor or therapist who uniquely understands your lifestyle. Share this: Twitter Facebook Tumblr. Like this: Like Loading Leave a Reply Cancel reply comment here Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:. required Address never made public. Name required.

Bdsm discussion topics

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Beginners Guide to BDSM FAQ’s